i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
