we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Mom said you looked used
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
