I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
