I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
