I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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