Screwed.edu
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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