he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize