worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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