it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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