you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
