Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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