I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
