just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
