i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
