The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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