Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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