their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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