Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You're my little dorito
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
