I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
