Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
tell me about the eggs
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
