so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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