we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
