Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
