is your mom at the bar?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
