Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
