I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
