9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
