I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
