people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i came on her dog
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
