hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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