So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
