she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You may now shotgun with the bride
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
