I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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