Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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