so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
PANTIES FOUND
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