i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
