..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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