haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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