I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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