I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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