I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
