i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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