She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
