With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
