so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
