I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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