Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
