Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
this hospital has no fireball
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
