Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize