He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
