Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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