South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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