forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
