Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
operation have a gay friend backfired
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
