We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
