the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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