"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
