dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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