I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
