i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
