Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
