somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
