And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
