it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
