is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
