Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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