she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize