I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
