my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
