Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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