did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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