there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
